groundzeroes | IC Inbox

[ Rosho huffs but refrains from giving Rei another nudge. There's no way he's letting this become a "probably". If they all want to try to make amends, then he's absolutely involving this old man in Sasara's birthday celebrations, whatever it may be. Would be a suitable punishment for ignoring them for so long and being one of two meddlesome idiots Rosho's always had to deal with. ]

Progressive dinner? Ah... [ He thinks on it for a moment. Thankfully, being such a foodie himself, he understands the concept already. ] Definitely not, but I feel like there's no way he hasn't eaten at every place in Camelot by now. Must know every menu by memory. He told me he went out a lot, all by himself. I'm not free often 'cause of work, and that was the time you were ignoring us, so he couldn't ask ya for company.

[ Crossing his arms and looking at Rei in almost a scolding manner, Rosho seems like he's ready for a lecture. ]

He does love food... and we haven't had the chance to do anything together in a long while. —oh, maybe the last place we could go to at the end is that beer cafe in the city, the Belgian one?

[Rei does not have the grace to look ashamed when Rosho chides him. His smile does slide a little sideways, though-- that small acknowledgement of Rosho's words will have to satisfy.]

All right. I'll draft the route. You ask him for restaurant recommendations "for the future".

[His smile fixes right back into place:]

You're probably garbage at lying, so just try not to get into too many details, yeah?

I-I'm not—! [ Its true, he's terrible at lying. His parents always expected Rosho to tell the truth which instilled good honesty in him (and a massive guilt complex). Even white lies are difficult for Rosho. So how the hell is he supposed to keep this a secret?

The answer: deflect and pretend there's no problem with this plan at all. ]

I can handle it fine! Why would I wanna be good at lying anyway? That's your specialty, not mine!

[Aahahahaha. He can see how Sasara got so obsessed with Rosho, what with the way he reacts to silly things like this so easily.]

C'mon, it's easy. You don't even have to lie, technically. Just say "that sounds nice, I'd love to go there with you some time." Which is true!

[Rei is absolutely just playing with him at this point.]

Do you need to practice? I'll be Sasara.

[ Of course it'd be true, but Rosho's so stubborn about restricting how much they eat out that he's sure he'd be found out. Its easier for him to let Sasara make these kinds of decisions, he's better at impulse wants and desires. But if he wants this birthday plan to work out the way he wants he'll have to meet the challenge. ]

Ya seriously think ya got what it takes to pretend to be that idiot? I don't need any practice!

[ Except he does.

But really... he sort of wants to see what kind of stupid impression of Sasara Rei can come up with. ]

This isn't what I was askin' ya for in regards to help. But, if you're gonna be insistent, then... fine. Go ahead and humor me.

[ You heard him Rei. Your turn to be the boke to Rosho's tsukkomi. ]

[YES!!! Rei barely restrains himself from laughing preemptively at the prospect.]

Okay, hold on.

[Rei clears his throat and takes a moment to compose himself, then breaks out his sunniest smile, voice pitched up from his deeper, lazier tones.]

Rosho!! ♡ Welcome home! [oh, God.] Are you peckish? I gotta fly the coop soon, but I've got enough time dovetail for a meal with ya!

[ HOW IS HIS IMPRESSION SO GOOD

ALSO ITS CREEPY AS HELL

Hold on give him a moment he's having a coughing fit as he tries really, really hard not to laugh. Or appear disgusted. Oh my god he even got the puns in. This is the worst thing he's ever witnessed. ]

[Don't worry, Rei also needs to take a moment to control himself. Holy shit. dsdslfsdf]

Hah? What's the matter, Rosho?! [His voice cracks with the strain of keeping it together.] It ain't that a cat got ya tongue!? Wish I had a familiar more like Eureka, if mine's causin' so much trouble!

[They are getting massively off track]

[ EVEN HIS KANSAIBEN IS REALLY GOOD. REI YOU'RE GOING TO MURDER HIM!!! ]

N-no, I, uh, I'm— [ WHEEZE ] Its fine, I'm f-fine. Okay. Anyway, w... welcome h-home... [ SNORT ] About food, n'such, I. Uh. Wanna ask ya somethin', about that...

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